Where have I been ... #WritingCave #AuthorHaze
Wow, a post from me. The first in what? Three weeks, or more. Yeah, I know.

*shakes my head to clear the haze*

Sadly enough, I've been battling the worst case of writer's block ever. For months, nothing was coming. Scenes weren't putting themselves together. Characters wouldn't talk. I swear, it's a writer's biggest frustration and worst dream come to life. Because when we are dreaming, it's usually the stuff we want to write, what we know we should, but then when we wake up again, the words just are not there.

I've always had the mantra that, "It'll pass. Keep writing, even if it sucks. It'll pass."

It wasn't passing this time. I wasn't writing at all.

I knew what it was, though. I knew the cause and didn't want to deal with it. The closer I was to finishing The Russian Guns series, the worst the writer's block became. I didn't want to finish it. I didn't want to write the end of the story to the characters I loved the most of all my characters. I also didn't have a choice.

There were tough scenes, harsh emotions. Things some readers will identify with, and some others will be hurt by. In the final book, there are triggers. Still, it was the way I meant for the story to end, for these characters of mine to finally have that one last HEA--because technically, I gave them one in every book. (I don't personally believe in cliff-hangers, myself)

At the first of this month, The Score stood at a word count of 30k. I couldn't make it past what I had already written. Then, one morning, I woke up and couldn't not write it anymore. By the 17th, I had finished the first draft at a standing count of 85.7k. Big jump, there.

That's what we like to call the writer's cave, or falling into the haze. Words flow, people disappear, life doesn't matter. Every little thing that doesn't have to do with exactly what we're writing falls to the wayside. Family, unfortunately. Eating, hey, only if someone brings you something. Work? Because I have to pay my bills, but you can bet your ass every second I was considering the next scene I had to finish.

Yeah, a haze. That's where I've been. Finishing that, breaking the block, forcing myself to finish something I didn't want to personally see end. Now, it's on to something new.

And when you have so many ideas floating about in your mind, I think choosing what to write next is a form of writer's block all on its own.

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